The Geek Wish List

Quite a while ago we shared with you our geek claims to fame, but there's an addendum to that list that has yet to be written: our geek claims to fame wish list.

Maybe we'll get a shot at these some day; maybe they're too logistically or financially impossible to achieve without first learning to bend the fabric of space, time, and Wall Street to our respective wills.

Either way, if our New Year's Resolutions were any indication, Alex will almost certainly get that time machine he's been wishing for, while I spend yet another year convincing Alex that we cannot go back in time to kill Grizzly Adams.

So. On to our wish lists, then.

--

For me (and, by "me," I mean, "Alex"), the biggest--and some would say most shameful--thing on my geek wish list is a trip to Comic-Con in San Diego. Shameful, because I have never been, and, likely, will never be.

This one hasn't happened for a couple of reasons, and they both rhyme with, "way too expensive."

Just to get out there--in the middle of the summer, no less--would take a monumental effort on my part. Summer is always, always, always busy around these parts, and not to mention gas prices have a tendency to inflate during prime vacation months.

July, apparently, is a prime vacation month.

On top of plane tickets and hotel accommodations (I'd need to sleep somewhere, I'd imagine), there's the cost of the show itself. Put me in a room with that many comics and that much original comic book art and, well.

You can imagine.

Oh. and food. I'd also imagine that would be a necessity.

Also also, I don't much like crushing, smelly crowds. And when there are that many people together in a single room...crushing and smelly are givens.

So, yeah. Comic-Con is definitely at the top of this wish list, and it'll likely stay there for some time. Unless, of course, we get that time machine, kill Grizzly Adams, and...

Nevermind.

Nathaniel, you say things now.

--

One item? That's it? One little mostly plausible thing on your wish list? Pfft. Let me show you how it's done:

I want a Death Star. Life-sized. Fully operational. Manned by dancing Ewoks.

Now that we've established our baseline, here's what's on my to-(probably never gonna)-do list:

Whether through major or minor involvement, I want to leave my creative mark on a video game that garners an honest-to-goodness international fan following. I want to be that guy that people wonder about when they ask, "Who in the world designed this insanely difficult, yet surprisingly fair video game level?" and, "What kind of a person comes up with a boss like Sheep Man?" Somebody stuck a Goomba in a boot in Super Mario Bros. 3, and I want to be that guy.

Hm. I suppose that doesn't actually compare at all with the Dancing Ewok Death Star. Oh, well. Maybe it's better to be a little reasonable.

I want to be published some day. Getting around to producing that blog book we promised on our first birthday would be a good first step, but I'm also thinking of collected journal entries or poetry or even short stories, should I ever feel the drive. Hey, come to think of it, writing the instruction manual for a video game would satisfy this wish and the previous one. Score.

I want to run into one of my YouTube fans somewhere, and be asked, "Hey--don't you do Mega Man videos for YouTube?" And I want them to ask with the hyperlink in their speech and everything. Without a doubt, I have the best group of YouTube fans ever, and I think it'd be tremendous fun to get to meet some of them.

I get closer to achieving this with each costume I don, but I want to attend a convention in a homemade costume that is simultaneously unique, immediately identifiable, impressive, highly accurate, and convention-friendly (I.e. will allow me to sit down without needing to disassemble myself). Barring that, I want to see my fiancée in a homemade Panda-Z helmet.

Lastly (at least for now), I want to travel through space. So much space. Need to see it all. Doesn't need to be anything fancy, and I don't even mind if I'm an old man before I go; simply having been into space will be good enough for me. But I think it's gonna be a long, long time.

And...um...back to you, Alex.

--

The Death Star, huh? Maybe you should try starting with something a little...smaller? Like KITT. Start with KITT.

Speaking of, and since we're doing the whole pie-in-the-sky thing here, I want a Batmobile. And not the one from the Adam West show, either. Or the new tank Batmobile from the latest films. I want the Michael Keaton Batmobile.

I also wouldn't mind some explosives to drive it through. And, finally, since we're talking Things I'll Never Own, I want a Detective Comics, issue 27 (the first appearance of Batman), and a page of original Batman art by Frank Miller.

To wrap up, and to bring things back to Planet Maybe (as opposed to Planet Ain't Gonna Happen, Bucky), I echo Nathaniel's wish to be published, or to be a publisher.

That...that would rock.

I'd love to do something that will shake things up and change the way we look at books and comics and this whole digital revolution everyone's talking about.

I also wouldn't mind opening my own comics shop/coffee house someday. Two of my favorite things becoming the thing I do every day. That would rock, too.

--

You know what else would rock? A flip-phone shaped like an original Star Trek communicator. Beam me up, Verizon.