New Year's De-Resolutions

Last year at this time, Alex and I were making our geeky New Year's resolutions. He made resolutions for me, and in retaliation, I made resolutions for him. I don't know what the heck we were doing in 2010, but I can tell you right now that there's no point in making a contest out of this--our resolutions for 2010 could easily double as our resolutions for 2011.

Did we accomplish anything at all?

Well, Alex demanded I be "more vocal about hating things." I penned a manifesto not long ago; by using the word "manifesto," does that qualify as being vocal about hating something?

[Alex's Edit: No.]

I got a poster for Christmas that describes all sorts of handy tips for time-travelers. Is that close to going back in time and killing Grizzly Adams? Is he even a historical figure? (Yes, but I wouldn't put it past Alex to make me go back in time to kill a person who doesn't actually exist.)

[Alex's Edit: Grizzly Adams was an historical person, and he did have a beard. And, according to my Completely Updated for 2010 Edition of The Grizzly Adams Reader, he was still not murdered by an also-bearded time traveler. One day, Adams. One day you'll get yours...]

Ooh, but I did teach Alex just enough about the inner workings of this blog for him to crash the whole thing. If we're not here tomorrow, it's because I asked Alex to remove our seasonal HTML snow widget. (Kidding! Kidding! He'd more likely destroy the whole thing 'cuz I was insinuating he'd crash the blog if he fiddled with anything.)

[Alex's Edit: Just so's you all know, building this blog back up from the post-zombie apocalypse that I turned it into whilst trying to get rid of the snow widget--which, just so we're all clear, is not an actual person (that was embarrassing)--took three whole days, and more duct tape than a rational man should own.]

Oh, right, and we had some rational resolutions, too! To recap...

Nathaniel will:
- Make significant progress on his homebrew Super Mario World - No.
- Release version 1.0 of his Jetpack FAQ - No.
- Read through at least one of DC's Crisis series - No.
- Read enough of the Marvel Ultimate Universe to do a full-blown Exfanding post on it - No.
- Release YouTube videos of Mega Man 5-8 - Uh...does Mega Man 5 1/2 count?
- Formally expose Alex to Star Trek - No.
- Formally expose Alex to anime - No.

[Alex's Edit: Do you even understand the point of resolutions, Nathaniel?]

Alex will:
- Lend Nathaniel all the issues of The Goon that he hasn't read - No, Nathaniel's fault for not asking.
- Write a real post about Mega Man, and not some fluffy nonsense piece that simply has the words Mega and Man in it - No, despite Nathaniel's best efforts.
- Learn how to do all the HTML wizardry Nathaniel does with the blog - Whoa. Yes.
- Play a video game with Nathaniel - Double whoa. Yes. We played GoldenEye for the N64.
- Play at least one session of Dungeons & Dragons with a group of people - No. Hahaha--oops, Nathaniel's fault again.
- Join the Facebook Collective - Yes, but not like he ever uses it.
- Open a llama ranch in Argentina - Well, he saw a llama...or an alpaca...or a something.

[Alex's Edit: First off, it was an alpaca. And second off, I would have taken a picture of me standing next to it with thumb's up if that farmer wasn't pointing his sawed-off shotgun at me and singing Bob Dylan songs. And second off, I win the great Resolutions of 2010 Challenge that I just made up this minute.]

You know what? This year, we're not making any positive resolutions. [Alex's Edit: Finally! Something I actually agree with!] We'll make a list of things we're not going to do. Maybe then I'll actually get something done. So, in 2011...

[Alex's Edit: This should be good...]

Nathaniel will not...
- Teach Alex anything more advanced than, "Here, see. You log into the blog like this, and Facebook is a meeting place for people on the Internet. Plus, we've had fax machines since the 80s."
- Be able to get Alex to remember to bring over his Goon trades.
- Kill Grizzly Adams, apparently.

Alex will not...
- Get rid of the snow widget. He's defeated Alex thrice already, and Alex just can't take the sight of that much blood again.
- Be able to break his addiction to single-issue comics. Sure, he'll scream and moan (and possibly throw himself on the floor and refuse to leave Macy's until someone acknowledges him), but, as always, he'll submit to the new, shiny every Wednesday.
- Watch the remaining Star Wars movies. He may have been tricked into watching Episode I (possibly just this week, because, apparently, "doing blog stuff" is Nathaniel-speak for, "let's watch Liam Neeson talk to an annoying (and, frankly, racist) cartoon character and follow around a kid who can't act, but don't worry, will one day enslave an entire galaxy and kill Ewan McGregor"), but he'll never watch the last two (second and third?) movies!

Check that--Alex may watch both movies, if Grizzly Adams is finally offed by a time traveling blogger...

Happy 2011, folks! Here's to a great year filled with more of our nonsense!