The Most Pretentious DVD Case I've Ever Seen

"RETURN TO PANDORA"

"A reluctant hero. An epic journey. A choice between the life he left behind and the incredible new world he's learned to call home. Return to James Cameron's AVATAR--the greatest adventure of all time."



...The "greatest adventure of all time"?

...Getting lost in the woods is "an epic journey"?

...What about the people who haven't seen Avatar yet? Do they even know how to get to Pandora?

This is actually what is written on the back of the DVD case for James Cameron's Avatar. I'm sorry; James Cameron's AVATAR. Wouldn't want to forget the ALL CAPS.

As I said in my review of Avatar, I thought the film was pretty entertaining. I also think the film was a little too overhyped and is a little too self-important for its own good. I'm in no rush to use the only three hours of free time I have this week to rewatch Avatar on a considerably less-IMAXy screen, but I suspect the apparent greatness of the movie will begin to wane starting today as the movie is released for viewing at home.

I can't help but wonder: Did the person or people who wrote that DVD blurb genuinely believe what they wrote, or were they exaggerating a bit? Were they writing it for the fans, or were they fully cognizant of the fact that Avatar will not be as good on a small screen and were desperate to rekindle the hype?

I saw a little poster for Avatar at Wal-Mart the other day, and at first I thought they were advertising the video game--those fake-looking computer-generated BLUE ALIENS couldn't possibly be the beautiful creatures we all saw on the big screen.

In a way, I almost feel sad for Avatar. I cannot help but feel that people are going to be gradually more disappointed by this film they loved so much, like marrying a person who gets less attractive every year and doesn't have the kind of personality that makes up for it. It's not going to happen overnight, but even Lord of the Rings and Jurassic Park are starting to show a little age in terms of their CGI; Avatar is bound to follow.

There's no moral here, and I'm not trying to insult the movie or its fans; this is simply an observation, a reaction to the most pretentious DVD case I've ever seen. Besides, it's unclear--is watching the movie the greatest adventure of all time, or are they talking about the events of the movie itself? That ambiguity makes it sound even more pretentious to me: Watching AVATAR is the greatest thing you will ever do.

Ever.

Sorry, I'm gonna go on an epic journey to the refrigerator and get a snack.