'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the blog
Not a person was voting “fruitcake” or “eggnog.”
The widgets were hung on the sidebar with flair,
In hopes that new colors would cause folks to care.
Bland post-author boxes were redone. Instead,
Nathaniel’s was blue, and Alex’s red.
These touches we hoped would put us on the map,
Or at least would quell statements of “this looks like crap.”
When the number of hits just got fatter and fatter,
We needed to know why our polls didn’t matter.
Were they too hard to read? Did the colors all clash?
Or were our polls stupid, pathetic, bad trash?
Despite our incessant desire to know,
We never asked questions, and just let it go.
When thoroughly pretty our blog should appear,
Surely we’d lure more poll voters here.
With a Photoshopped banner that looked pretty slick,
And some well-written code to load pages so quick,
We knew that our blog would bring fortune and fame,
Writing posts about topics, some of which we now name!
Posts on Star Wars! On Star Trek! On Gaiman and Crichton!
On comics! Nintendo! On Dungeons & Dragons!
To the top of the page! Through our archives you’ll crawl!
A post for each day since the onset of fall!
Okay, so you got us, that’s kind of a lie;
We don’t post every day, but we certainly try.
But if posts aren’t enough, then there’s other stuff, too:
A link of the week and our blogroll are two.
There’s a place to leave comments; please don’t be aloof!
If I ask, leave a note, or I’ll look like a doof.
And check out our topics that spin round and round;
Down the sidebar a ways is our old-style list found.
We’ll try not to be vain, but our own horn we’ll toot,
We’ve subscribers galore, and followers, to boot.
Just look at them—ten! Well, it’s hard to keep track,
But do us a favor: sign up, join the pack.
Admire our rating, but vote so we’ll carry
At least 8.5 into January.
Then check out our links, pick out somewhere to go,
Unless you’re still watching our HTML snow.
Or read about us in that box way beneath
That we’ve hidden away like a sword in a sheath.
Don’t walk away yet; don’t go turn on the telly;
The next thing will leave you all shouting, “Whoa, Nelly!”
Yes, a “favicon,” friends, and I made it myself,
And a flashy gold brick as a symbol of pelf.
They’re so overwhelming, you’ll prolly drop dead;
But in case you survive, I’ll keep pushing ahead.
Our readers, they voted for President Kirk,
And Zombie Abe Lincoln still thinks he’s a jerk.
So what has he done for us? Nobody knows,
But that Klingon hit counter he still doth oppose.
With pictures to liven up every epistle,
Now our blog’s more exciting than early dismissal.
With all that we offer you should be here all night;
For crying out loud! Take our polls now, alright?
Not a person was voting “fruitcake” or “eggnog.”
The widgets were hung on the sidebar with flair,
In hopes that new colors would cause folks to care.
Bland post-author boxes were redone. Instead,
Nathaniel’s was blue, and Alex’s red.
These touches we hoped would put us on the map,
Or at least would quell statements of “this looks like crap.”
When the number of hits just got fatter and fatter,
We needed to know why our polls didn’t matter.
Were they too hard to read? Did the colors all clash?
Or were our polls stupid, pathetic, bad trash?
Despite our incessant desire to know,
We never asked questions, and just let it go.
When thoroughly pretty our blog should appear,
Surely we’d lure more poll voters here.
With a Photoshopped banner that looked pretty slick,
And some well-written code to load pages so quick,
We knew that our blog would bring fortune and fame,
Writing posts about topics, some of which we now name!
Posts on Star Wars! On Star Trek! On Gaiman and Crichton!
On comics! Nintendo! On Dungeons & Dragons!
To the top of the page! Through our archives you’ll crawl!
A post for each day since the onset of fall!
Okay, so you got us, that’s kind of a lie;
We don’t post every day, but we certainly try.
But if posts aren’t enough, then there’s other stuff, too:
A link of the week and our blogroll are two.
There’s a place to leave comments; please don’t be aloof!
If I ask, leave a note, or I’ll look like a doof.
And check out our topics that spin round and round;
Down the sidebar a ways is our old-style list found.
We’ll try not to be vain, but our own horn we’ll toot,
We’ve subscribers galore, and followers, to boot.
Just look at them—ten! Well, it’s hard to keep track,
But do us a favor: sign up, join the pack.
Admire our rating, but vote so we’ll carry
At least 8.5 into January.
Then check out our links, pick out somewhere to go,
Unless you’re still watching our HTML snow.
Or read about us in that box way beneath
That we’ve hidden away like a sword in a sheath.
Don’t walk away yet; don’t go turn on the telly;
The next thing will leave you all shouting, “Whoa, Nelly!”
Yes, a “favicon,” friends, and I made it myself,
And a flashy gold brick as a symbol of pelf.
They’re so overwhelming, you’ll prolly drop dead;
But in case you survive, I’ll keep pushing ahead.
Our readers, they voted for President Kirk,
And Zombie Abe Lincoln still thinks he’s a jerk.
So what has he done for us? Nobody knows,
But that Klingon hit counter he still doth oppose.
With pictures to liven up every epistle,
Now our blog’s more exciting than early dismissal.
With all that we offer you should be here all night;
For crying out loud! Take our polls now, alright?
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